5 Things You Should Know When You’re a Superhero

Monday 6 January 2014 by

There are some great advantages to watching superhero films and knowing your superhero stuff. It means that when it comes to discovering that you really do have superpowers, you know what to do with them right away…

1.       You’re probably only going to get superpowers through a freak accident

Look, we’re not all as lucky as Clark Kent and be born in to it. We’re probably more the Peter Parker line of hero. Although, I’m definitely NOT recommending putting yourself anywhere near anything radioactive; instead you might want to ask for a “How to Build Your Own Robo-Suit” kit for your birthday (that is, if you’re a millionaire genius).

2.      Keep your enemies close…

I hate to break it to you, but that BFF you’re hanging around with an awful lot? Around the same time you find out you’re a superhero, they’re probably going to find out that they’re an evil genius whose greatest aspiration is world domination. Just saying.

3.      Choose your secret identity wisely

You can either choose to be all SCREW YOU I’M IRONMAN about it, or feel that whole “with great power comes great responsibility” thing and choose to keep your identity secret. For the most part, whether or not you’re a Marvel or a DC brand of hero will help you decide, which is nice. But you should keep a few things in mind, as it will also influence your costume.

Now, as far as I can tell, a cape or mask is a pretty good start to a costume, and are good at keeping your identity secret. But glasses? I’m a sceptic. You’re going to need a confidant – the only person who knows your true identity – so try a few disguises out on them first and see which one fits best. And when choosing a cape, pick one that doesn’t get in the way.

4.      Know your weaknesses

If you have metal for a skeleton, don’t go up against someone who can bend mental, mm’kay? Equally, if you’re an alien who can fly and see through walls, avoid any glowing green rock.

You have to know your weakness, because your BFF-turned-evil-overlord is DEFINITELY going to exploit it. Make sure your confidant also knows, because you never know when you’re going to need THEM to rescue YOU in a scrape. Think of them as your back-up sidekick.

5.      Avoid cities when it comes to the showdown

I don’t know about you, but I really feel sorry for New York/London/Metropolis/Gotham City (delete as appropriate). They get well and truly trashed every time a superhero and a supervillain go head-to-head. So when you’re having your final showdown, can you make it somewhere a bit more… remote? A nice empty field would do. I know that sheep make for a less engaged audience (and aren’t great at being potential victims in need of rescue), but I think they will mind a LOT less if you trash their field than if you end up levelling an entire city.

So now you’re ready to be a superhero. Go forth and be heroic.

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