5 Things You Forgot Over the School Holidays

Sunday 14 September 2014 by

It was a long six weeks, the sun actually shone for half of it and the weather only tried to drown us out of our houses for a couple of days.

We lost track of what day it was, never looked at the clock when we woke up and stayed in our PJs whenever we felt like it.

Then it was suddenly September and we were rudely thrust back into the world of ‘Term Time’ and we started remembering all the things we had forgotten over our six weeks of freedom…

Back to school, Kids, Summer holidays, September

1. Packed Lunches

The kids are in bed, you’ve had your dinner and finally collapsed onto the sofa and picked up the TV remote when you remember – the kids need packed lunches tomorrow. Now you have to decide – drag yourself into the kitchen now to do it, or get up a bit early in the morning and try to do it before you have to leave.

Did you even remember to buy stuff for packed lunches in the food shop? Where on earth did you put their lunchboxes at the start of the holidays? When did her drinks bottle start leaking everywhere? Where has his lunch bag gone?

I’m a do-it-in-the-evening kind of parent. I’d rather sleep for an extra five minutes in the morning.

2. PE Kits

What day do they do PE on anyway? I’m sure it changes week by week. Where on earth did their black shorts go and will this mostly-white t-shirt with a line of dolphins on it be okay until you find the polo shirt you’re sure you bought? And then you have to make sure they remember to bring it home and then you have to remember to wash it and somehow magically dry it again before Monday morning rolls around.

I still don’t see what’s wrong with doing it barefoot in pants and vests myself…

3. Stained Uniform

What do they do in these schools?! You send your child there for about six hours in a white shirt and they come back looking like they went for a walk in a paint factory and rolled in their dinner. Every. Single. Day.

And it doesn’t wash out. Whatever they pour down themselves appears to be stain-remover proof and even if you do manage to get most of the splodges out it takes all of about two weeks for those shiny white polo shirts to be entirely grey underneath so your smart schoolchild suddenly begins to more resemble an elephant distantly related to Elmer.

4. After-School Zombies

In your mind your walk home from school will be filled with chatter about how their day has gone, what they had for lunch and what games they played in lunch time. In actual fact what you get is more along the lines of ‘dunno, I forgot,’ and ‘nothing.’ All accompanied by growling, grunting, general raging, moping and shuffling.

Application of food and drink can help restore normal functioning such as walking properly and speaking in sentences but don’t expect any miraculous memory restoration – I have yet to find out anything more detailed than ‘we had a story about a tractor… I think.’

Although having said that, my girl can ALWAYS remember what she had for pudding, especially if there was custard involved.

5. Homework

Oh yes, that stuff. Half of it will be completed by you and not your child – especially if it’s supposed to be a fun homework. ‘Make a spaceship’ for example was one of ours – Tori lasted about five minutes before she got utterly bored and left me to the sticking and painting and trying-really-hard-not-to-swear-ing.

Seriously, I pray for spellings and long division these days. I, er, I mean my daughter may have won a prize for her Summer Holiday project but I’m not sure a set of Gruffalo playing cards really makes up for the frustration of trying to engage Tori in the task and then the inevitable hours spent designing, cutting, sticking and drawing the ‘educational board game’ during the holidays when I could have been doing something more interesting. Like sleeping.

You can follow Carole on Twitter: @caroleheidi

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